Lump n Bump

There was a moment in the most recent Great British Baking Show where a contestant didn’t bake her cake all the way through. Rebs was visibly shook, and she told herself and the camera, “I just need a moment to myself.” She next appears using a ring mold to cut out the center of the under-baked cake, and replacing it with another well cooked portion of cake. She narrates her creative solution and says “why panic?”

This contestant identified the feeling she was having, realized it was panic, and paused. What I find interesting, is that she explained aloud what she needed and why. I’ve never seen that modeled. I probably have seen that modeled, but it hit different today because of recent counseling.

When I speak with my counselors about processing my anxiety, I usually recount an experience where everyone’s emotions escalate because no one is clearly communicating our needs. No. Let me revise that: I begin feeling panic; I keep silent; no one else knows that I’m feeling volatile; one more stimulus happens, and then the stress levies break. Externally it appears as though I go from being a little frazzled to shouting a little to a panic attack.

I’ve discussed these incidents, and agreed that I must use my words to communicate what I’m feeling when I first notice it. My poor communication is a common denominator in every event. There are other similarities, but that one is all on me. I’m the only one who can speak up for myself.

Today, I saw someone model what I need to do, in a way that I could replicate. I saw them successfully recognize their escalating feelings, express their need to regulate, and use that calm to solve their anxiety. We don’t get to hear their thoughts, but by asking for a moment, we know what they need to manage their panic. Brilliant.

Rebs made it look so simple. Which is why this moment was so effective for me. I find it difficult to learn from my past because either I’m not proud of my actions or I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m not perfect; so seeing the correct behavior performed after I’ve recently learned about it was very good. Very useful. It might be just the thing I needed.

Gosh, I was so caught up in my personal revelation that I didn’t even finish watching the cake episode, or the rest of them, while I mulled this thought over in another room and the series played. I just read that there’s drama about the very same contestant during bread week! Bake Off is always a good rewatch.