Lump n Bump

My son had a runny nose this morning when we left home. When he came home today, he was breathing only through his mouth and slobber and snot ran down his poor chin non-stop. His eyes were red and he looked so pathetic.

I worried about kissing him hello. Is it safe for me? I sat him on my lap facing him away, breathing away from my face. We watched Puffin Rock and PBS’ Daniel Tiger.

We ate dinner, ditalini and vegetables. I fed him his meal one macaroni at a time, one broccoli, one onion slice, one pea at a time. He ate so much! The poor thing sipped water and swallowed the food I placed on his lips. He leaned on me while he ate and perked up with a full belly.

Bath went smoothly, and transitioned with no fuss to pajamas and bed. My son was so sleepy and unwell. He woke a few times with coughing and sneezing. He went back to sleep as soon as his father wiped his nose, offered a sip of water, and rocked him in his arms.

I hate that it is unsafe for me to comfort and care for my sick son. I want to keep him close to me and snuggle him all through the night. I want to be a mother and a wife. I don’t want to be this sick person.

If there’s one thing I learned in September 2022, though, it’s that recovering from a simple cold is no small thing for me. George is strong and healthy and will recover in 7-10 days. It will take me three times as long. And it might put me in the ER hospital again. I hate living inside of this sick body.

I hope I stay well. I wish my child wakes up recovered in the morning. If I could have a small miracle, it would be for no one in my family to have a cold the rest of this year. If I could have any miracle though, I suppose I should pray for this tumor to be killed and never return.