Last Thursday after Taxol was difficult. This week Thursday after Taxol was also difficult. I bet next week will be difficult still.

Back pain. Fatigue. Zoning out. Achey joints. Low motivation. Hot and cold.

I laid down after beef stew dinner because I was cold and achey. George had a hard time with bath because he was over tired and wound up because Grammy was over to help. So Grammy and I tag teamed him with some more dinner and pajamas and rocking. I was hot and trembling now. But thankfully George fell asleep fast and slept soundly.

I showered off the aches and chills. Dried of with a clean towel. Moisturized my face and bald head. Opened the window. Ate some peanutbutter cinnamon-sugar toast. Kissed my mom goodnight. And laid down with Downton Abbey playing in the background. I think that cured my chemo hangover.

I’d best plan on the same pattern next week. There’s some comfort in that; some illusion of control. Is that so bad?

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