Author: Brianna Russell
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What a day!
It’s one of the things George says in his innocent little toddler voice that I will hold in my heart until it stops beating. It’s also the way he says “again!” And “oh my!” “What is that!?” Today we got a new one “magic!” This Arctic blizzard began at 802am by my reckoning. Just fifteen…
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Not Anti-Climactic
Have you ever looked forward to the completion of a thing and felt let down because it wasn’t as exciting as you expected? We all know that feeling, right? Its just the anticipation of accomplishment does not have the pomp and circumstance that you looked forward to. I felt that way at graduation. There was…
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We Did It
I did it. I finished chemotherapy. Four rounds of Adriomycin and Cytoxan in eight weeks. I did it. Eleven rounds of Taxol in twelve weeks. I did it. Two hospital visits to reaffirm my diagnoses: asthmatic pregnant lady sick with breast cancer, with a side of aggressive chemotherapy. The hospitals also ruled out any more…
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Ready Or Not
I’ve worked on removing the word “should” from my vocabulary at my counselor’s advice. I have seen an overall improvement on my self esteem as a result. Thinking that I “should” or “should not” do something frames my thinking in negativity. For example, “I should feel excited about the last chemo treatment… but I don’t.”…
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Holy Crap
George pooped in the toilet today. And peed. In the toilet. The regular people toilet with a child seat! It was George’s idea to try this today! Nick and George were home and enjoying a morning of snacking and washing dishes but had not pooped yet today by 12 noon. Nick kept checking with George…
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Creative Constipation
Part One: Bad times TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety of surgery. You can try reading, its not as bad as “Port Day,” but I reference the experience and other surgeries. I had a creative block in November. I had two excuses listed in Infrequent from November 16, 2022. And they weren’t lies or exaggerations, but not the…
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The Kindness of Strangers
My hair has been growing, I’ve mentioned that before. But really, it’s grown a lot. I notice myself in the mirror and get a little excited when I catch my reflection. I feel a little squeal bubble up in my throat (not to be confused with the severe heartburn I get all the time now).…
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Hospital 2.0
Happy Halloween! I’ve missed my goal of posting every day this month of October for breast cancer awareness. But um, I was in the hospital because I had cardiac enzymes in my blood, and we needed to find out why. Remember the last time I visited the ER? I needed a blood transfusion? I hoped…
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Glucose Challenge
Why do I even need to do this? Its dumb. I’m going to fail because steroids artificially jack up your body. I have been taking IV steroids every Monday for three months directly into my heart. I have two Mondays left of those damn steroids. But I only have 5 weeks to go until I…
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Racing Questions
Is general anesthesia very dangerous for caesarian delivery? I can guarantee a panic attack if I have to have a c section. I can guarantee a more severe panic attack during a c section with only a local anesthetic. The feel of blood rolling down my skin. Feeling skin spread wide open and hands reach…
Lump n Bump 