Lump n Bump

So much and so little has changed lately. My anxiety had me paralyzed into inactivity for a while now, but that didn’t stop me following regularly scheduled events. I’m a little exhausted by doctors appointments, and I leaned into the last gap in visits while I digested new information: breastfeeding, childbirth, nesting. I’m still heartbroken…

I’ve written less this November 2022. The cause is two-fold; I feel both better and far more pregnant. I have the energy to play, so I don’t make time to write. Writing comforted me while I felt my worst. I can make play ergonomic, but it is hard work to be pregnant and sedentary. Now,…

What a weekend in contrast to 7 days ago. Saturday morning we snacked on breakfast and George spent the morning with Grandma and Grandpa. Nick could go to work and Mom could have time to recharge. Nick and I went on a brunch date with some friends while we were child-free and it felt incredible.…

This is a concept that I’ve learned through counseling. I’ve used it successfully many times before I knew it had a whole name and fancy structure to it; and learning it in therapy has helped solidify it as a tool to make good decisions in tune with my needs and wants. Essentially, you want to…

I’ve had a change in prescriptions. I need to give myself a shot every day. It’s a blood thinner just to prevent extreme concern for blood clots since I’m at high, high, high, high, high risk to develop one. (I actually have five high risk indicators.) And with the trouble breathing I’ve had, that’s the…

George and I had a doctor’s appointment today. I have some severe food allergies and asthma all my life, and I have trusted my care to the same physician from childhood to adulthood and to my own children. This doctor is great, great knowledge, bedside manner, and great with children. Plus his billing team is…

We’ve all heard of and experienced “brain fog.” I’ve always applied the description to days when I’m feeling groggy and switching from task to task is slow. Honestly, I most commonly use it to describe the way I feel when I’m hungry, but haven’t become hangry yet. Or thirsty; usually a glass of water will…

I really doubted that I would get any rest or accumulate any strength with only three weeks between chemo and birth. It turns out I may be wrong. I was discharged on Sunday afternoon from Buffalo General Medical Center. I spent the remainder of the day playing with George. Nick Hopper that I would have…

I’m good at planning. I love a check list. At this moment I have an agenda, a syllabus, a detailed outline of the next several months and I resent it a bit. First the update: I’m 27 weeks pregnant on October 27. I have shortness of breath, and some trouble making good decisions. I want…

I can’t feasibly breast feed my daughter. It makes me really upset. I know she’ll be fine without it. But I was so good at it with George and I really looked forward to a similar experience. It wasn’t all about the bond. It was just so damn convenient. Wherever I went, my child went…